I can't sleep.

I have no idea when I picked up this weird case of insomnia but lately I just cannot sleep. I'm never tired when I try to go to sleep and it is really starting to bug me. Tonight, it is worse than normal. I feel really nervous for some reason and I'm trying to deduce why. Here's what I've come up with so far.

-I'm starting summer school in a week and this makes my stomach turn. My last escapade with academics was not that great and I ended up losing my state scholarship so now I have to get it back. And I have serious doubts in myself that I can actually do it.
-Beth Anne left today which my puts my best friend count in Lexington to a whooping zero (I only have two best friends so it's not that hard). I'm nervous that now that she's gone that I'll be lonely here in Lexington. Thankfully she'll be home on the 18th to go see the premiere of Dark Knight with me and Kristin is coming home soon too but that still does not ease my nerves.
-Speaking of friends, I'm not on good terms with most of my Lexington friends which is really hard on me. But everyone has changed. And that REALLY makes me nervous.
-This is a really irrational reason. I'm 19 years old, my future career should not be keeping me up at night but this is a huge reason that I am so nervous. I'm scared because all I have ever wanted to do it work in the entertainment industry. I'm scared that all of the doors will get slammed in my face and I won't be able to hack it. Most of all, I'm afraid I'll be forced to give up on my dream. This is really hard for me to swallow because I cannot imagining doing ANYTHING else with my life.

Just writing about these things is making my stomach do flips. I know this is stuff that I need to give to God and he will take care of all of it but it is hard to do that. Our task in the bible study I'm in is to relinquish control of one thing this week to God. I'm not really in control of that many things because that's not really my way, but one thing I am in control of is my worries. They are unessisary and just another thing to come between me and Jesus. So prayers would be appreciated as I work on this. My song to help me through this struggle this week is most definitely going to be "Beauty of your Peace" by Tim Hughes. That song has so much meaning to me because of where it came from but the words struck a chord in my heart really hard as I listened to it.

Your voice has stilled the raging storms
The wind and waves bow down before
Your still small voice brings hope to all
Who wait on You, we'll wait for You
To lead us to the place where You'll restore our souls
And all our earthly strivings come to cease

Take from our souls the strain and stress
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Your peace
The beauty of Your peace


This is my prayer for this week.